Bedtime

Last night, I left work early enough to give the kids a bath and help put them to bed. ("early enough" means I arrived at home at about 10:00 p.m.!) Can I just ask -- are all 4 year olds absolutely crazy wild before bedtime?!?

The entire time from walking in the door to walking out of the bedroom - I feel like there are 2 little flies buzzing and buzzing -- so quickly and actively that I can't even focus long enough on either of them to see what they may be doing!

Bedtime rituals begin with taking a bath. Of course, they undress, throwing their clothes in the air, and run like naked crazy people into the bathroom. Before getting into the bathtub, Jacob and Grace use the potty. Well, Jacob has begun to go potty "like daddy" - standing up. Of course, Grace then decided SHE wanted to use the toilet "like daddy"! When I yelled "NOOOO!" and then tried to explain that it "doesn't work that way," she decided that she wouldn't stand up while going potty, BUT that she would sit backwards on the toilet! argh!

Next, Jacob and Grace were "corralled" in the bathtub - it helps to have them trapped in a confined space. However, they are getting big enough that they sometimes touch each other -- and anyone with more than one child knows how absolutely unacceptable it is to "touch" one's sibling. So, once we are done with the bath (succeeding in drenching the floor -- and needing to check downstairs to make sure that the lake hasn't soaked through to the ceiling below), everyone is out, to, once again, RUN with a towel over their heads like crazy naked people -- but this time it's a little tricky, given their wet feet on our hard wood floors! (we've experienced more than one wipeout!)

Now, of course, since I am home, Daddy is chopped liver, so I must dress and comb hair, etc. for BOTH Jacob and Grace -- if Daddy tries to do it, the screams of "NOOOO" and "I want Mama to do it!" are overwhelming. But, of course, I can only handle one of the two crazy naked people at a time. And the entire time the one that I have pinned down with a wrestling hold on the floor trys to wriggle free . . . during this time, inevitably, the other one is getting into mischief . . .

Last night, Jacob was dressed first, so, while I am wrangling his pajamas on, Grace is standing in front of the full length mirror on the back of the closet door doing a "naked dance." Her favorite move is to lean over and wiggle her butt . . . and laugh hysterically . . . while chanting "naked butt! naked butt!" over and over again . . .

Jacob is finally done, so I call Grace over -- I think I only had to call her five times last night! -- and then Jacob, of course, is unleashed. As I am trying to get Grace ready for bed (a challenge in and of itself!) Jacob is jumping back and forth over Grace -- more to annoy her than for any other reason. He then gets some toy (doesn't matter what it is) and makes it into a "gun" to start shooting Grace -- only because it bothers her.

Whew!

Once the p.j.'s are on, we make one more trip to the bathroom to brush teeth and go potty once again . . . the insanity continues with one trying to outdo the other; and, again, Grace sits backwards on the toilet (what are they going to think in preschool?).

Finally, they are told to go to bed . . . of course, they are incapable (by choice!) of pulling up their own covers, so I tuck them both in bed, say prayers with them, kiss them goodnight, and read one story while Daddy follows with his kisses and a round of "tickle monster." After my book, Daddy takes over and reads another book . . .

I'm exhausted!