Strength in weakness

Today has been a long day. The responsibilities that have piled up on my desk are so high, I can barely be seen peering over them. My best intentions to complete a specified list of tasks are thrown to the wayside, as I deal with the unexpected "emergencies" of the day. Now it's evening, and I am just starting to think of tackling the tasks which are "due." I think about my husband and children -- at home eating dinner, probably, about now -- without me. I am tired. I am overwhelmed. I do this for them.

Everything wears on me. Each "problem" sometimes seems to take a piece of me. After awhile, there is nothing left. The responsibilities of a "Counselor" at law is so much more than simply leading one through the legal maze. "Counselor" involves just about everything the word connotes.

Then there are the personal responsibilities - if there's a moment left in the day.

The most difficult issue is a personal matter, where resolution should be relatively simple, but emotions and bitterness have taken root which have gotten in the way of reason. The power of bitterness and anger is amazing; not something to be underestimated. But, on the receiving end of bitterness, I am tired of fighting the battle. I am tired.

And through it all, I must remain strong, confident, in control, in charge, leading the battle. And then I have to go home and be a wife and mother, too. That, in itself, is a full time job! Can I just say -- sometimes I just don't have anything left to be all these things. Sometimes, I just want to curl up in a heap in the corner and make the world go away. I am defeated; helpless; overwhelmed. I am weak.

Reminder: the promise of 2 Corinthians 12:9-10:

9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

It is in weakness that strength is shown. It is in this diversity that I remember most to call upon -- and rely upon -- the grace and power of God.

Like the Phoenix rising from the ashes -- becoming stronger with each adversity; becoming more beautiful with each rising. Beauty from ashes . . .

Isaiah 61:3 To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified.

May God be glorified in the end. May I remember to rely upon Him, and not myself. May the strength of God carry me through. May His grace and power prevail.